The Best of “That’s So Aughties!”

My favorite “That’s So Aughties” possibilities from an old Vanity Fair article.

2. Oversharing

The 00s were one big Overshare. The rise of mobile phones turned the world into your psychiatrist’s office**, while Facebook status updates, celebrity Twitter feeds, and mommy blogs enabled the relentless broadcasting of personal minutia, from the mundane (“Buying fresh fennel at Whole Foods”) to the shocking (“Just got DNA results. Jason’s the daddy!”). Another source of oversharing? Blog commenters, especially those of the hyper-religious or staunchly partisan ilk, who so often felt compelled to air the most vitriolic, illogical, and hostile opinions under the virtual cloak of “SoccerSue” or “Jimbo01.”

9. White iPods

Whatever feelings you may have about Apple and its smug design-snob branding, it can be argued that the iPod was the innovation of the decade. It helped bring the music industry to its knees, produced an entirely new economic model via the iTunes Store, and created near-total isolation from our fellow man, as we bob along with our earbuds firmly in place**. The original white iPod is already on display at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, and one can assume it will eventually take its place in the Smithsonian alongside the telephone and the cotton gin. Which is fine—just as long as they don’t also preserve those poppin’-and-lockin’ iPod silhouette people.

11. Food Porn**

Food was so hot in the 00s. Haute cuisine went mainstream, celebrity chefs became household names, and even your lunch meat was grass-fed. There was a curious high/low synthesis: mac and cheese, fried chicken, and burgers showed up on menus of high-end eateries, while the humble cupcake became a status symbol**. Food was no longer just subsistence but a lifestyle, as the farmers’ market became the new singles bar, twentysomethings expertly brined turkeys on Thanksgiving, job seekers listed molecular gastronomy as a hobby on their résumés, and everyone knew the meaning of sous vide. And yet, somehow Arby’s continued to exist.

23. “-istas”

The “-ista” movement was born and propagated by a certain type of kicky female who attempts to put a glamorous, Swarovski-encrusted, Sex and the City gloss on anything. Call it the Daily Candy culture: the pursuit of hot men, cute shoes, and to-die-for frozen yogurt is all that matters. And the materialistic optimism these women possess is impervious to economic strife: the decade began with fashionistas, stylistas, and urbanistas and ended with frugalistas and recessionistas**. You go, girls?

**Endnotes:

1. I’m not sure psychiatry accurately captures what is going on in social networking…

2. Oh, I’ve written about this before, let me find it.

3. The differences between regular porn and other “porns” — shoe porn, food porn, etc — requires thinking about….

4. Case in point, the Tumblr cupcake tag. Also, shout out to my cupcake-fetishizing friend, Rachel or sourfruitlyman.

5. My account name for all other websites may or may not be philosonista. Philosophy is glamorous too.